The Laws of gatte chutney

Wrapping your mind around your life is pretty hard but do you know what else is harder, watching a guy next to you enjoying every bite of Bonda with the gatee chutney(I can't find a fancier English name for it) while you are on a f*king diet.

I'm at the tiffin centre waiting for my parcel, I am a regular customer here so the bonda shop anna gave me the gatte chutney privilege.

Okay, the harder part here is I promised myself to have regular tiffin only twice a week, for the rest of the days I have to resist the urge to have it and just deliver it to my home and I have to survive on this colonized white guy’s diet: bread spread with peanut butter and oats, f**k that protein and fibre respectively.

Speaking of gatee chutney, it is hard to find, and even if you do, every Bonda shop anna will treat it as an invaluable asset, so asking for extra chutney is an unwritten rule of crime 101.

I still can't comprehend why people choose normal chutney over gatee chutney. Are they going to save the world from recession by mixing it with water? You are only diluting the heavenly experience clowns.

Also, next time any professor is set on explaining the viscosity phenomenon in fluid mechanics they should quote the gatte chutney as an example. Maybe I should write a book titled Desi physics, with all this stuff, not a bad idea though.

I live next to a busy highway that cuts through the town. A rogue autowala could cause miles of traffic jams.

A Toyota car driving by made loud, squeaky noises and jerked before the driver could steer it onto the side of the road. When the driver got out, smoke rushed out of the engine - it looked like an overheating problem. He asked a bystander where he could find a mechanic shop and walked to the nearest one.

As I was getting ready to leave, I noticed my side mirror was slightly tilted. I tried to fix it but then saw a police officer approaching the car, he was enquiring the passengers why they had to halt the car at this juncture.

It would have been a normal day until this girl walked out of the car and just appeared in my peripheral vision. It was a sunny morning but the moment she walked, a vibrant glow hit my mirror blurring my vision, only moments later I realised it was her scintillating jumka's reflection.

Btw, scintillating is a word used to describe bright things, just a vocab practice you know, just saying!.

She wore white chudihar, curly hair, trendy vintage spectacles and white sandals.

Every side mirror comes with a label on it “Things appear closer than they appear”, it seems like I have now figured out its meaning. She stood a couple of feet away from me but it felt like she was standing next to me, I could feel her fragrance, and her voice sounded affirmative, unlike the way I imagined by her appearance, a cuter tone maybe, not mansplaining here but sometimes your imagination runs miles ahead of you.

My phone chimed with work emails. I know it is going to be a long tiring day but I also sure as hell know that this girl’s smile will navigate me through my day.

There was a part of me that wanted to go straight to her and express my feelings, but the other part of me talked me out of it. It suggested that I step back and appreciate her beauty from a distance.

Either way, if I stay there for a while the officer is going to taunt me for sure so I just thanked god for the good start of the day and moved.

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